Ask Dr. Julianne

Posted by admin - December 28th, 2011

Aloha Dear Ones,

It’s very early in the morning on Maui.  The need for rest and reflection has been foremost since Christmas Eve.

I’ve been a Unity Church chaplain for almost 10 years.  About a week before Unity’s Christmas Eve service,  I was asked to give the opening prayer.  I immediately said yes, then the scope of the responsibility set in. I wondered if I could show up the way that was needed, if I could be available to that deep edge of my being that allows the Holy Spirit/evolutionary impulse to come forth.  I didn’t want my own personality conditioning, or my human mind, to write and deliver a prayer that would just sound good–I wanted a truer voice to speak.

Unity Church on Maui (unityonmaui.org) started having the chaplains give opening prayers for Sunday services about six months ago.  We tend to follow a format for affirmative prayer used by many, “new thought,” groups, such as Religious Science.  This form of affirmative prayer, sometimes called, “five-step prayer,” focuses on acknowledging divine presence, aligning with this holy presence, affirming one’s intention, giving thanks and releasing the prayer to divine outcome.

For the past few months, my prayers have increasingly included evolutionary language and concepts.  I find myself saying things like, “Beloved Presence, we know that there is not only this now moment–there is also this now moment, becoming–we lean forward, together, into the edge of that becoming, into the space between us, for in the space between us, there is an awareness emerging of our essential unity, of a deeper, higher love that is our true nature, a sacred reality that is so much more powerful than any challenge we might face on our own, that is becoming stronger each day.”

I pray with my eyes open, looking into the eyes of people around the room.  When my prayers at Unity became more evolutionary, some people whose heads were bowed began to look up at me, with an expression both surprised and curious.  As I continued to pray, I saw people’s faces soften, open, then seem to brighten, with a quality of hope.  I especially noticed that when words of, “leaning together into the space between us, where we are more available to consciousness emerging, where there is a love and wisdom awakening between us that is so much stronger than any trial we face alone,” that some people sat straighter, some began gently crying, all appearing to release isolation, to embrace connection.

Together, with my brothers and sisters, I felt the sweet comfort of being one heart , and with that experience of unity, a deeper motivation to do the right thing–for God, for myself, for these people who are part of me, and who, with me, are all part of God.

Each time this happened, I was left with a feeling of amazement.  I would come with a frame for the occasion on any given Sunday, but never write a prayer, always allowing it to unfold in the moment.  I grew to trust that a greater presence would show up, in this new, exciting way, and felt a precious alignment with our small congregation.

On Christmas Eve, attendance is always much larger.  Unity moves its service to the Iao Theater in Wailuku town, which seats about 500.  A wide range of people come, mainland visitors from traditional churches, new age Mauians on a variety of paths, and locals.  I felt some trepidation about giving the opening prayer with this bigger group, with such different beliefs and expectations.  The concern was about my egoic conditioning. Could my personality self get out of the way enough to express as the evolutionary impulse?  Or would the false self feel compelled to put on a show on this bigger stage?

My ego wasn’t my only concern.  There was a call on my heart to truly honor Jesus as the birth of God’s love in form, as God’s love made manifest for humanity.

Unity was founded by a passionately Christian couple, Charles and Myrtle Fillmore.  Their intention was to explore Christ consciousness under a big umbrella, accepting that all paths lead to God, welcoming people of all faiths to come together to study and celebrate a greater truth of being and living. My experience in Unity was that while every effort was made to acknowledge the beauty of all paths, there was at times a reluctance to speak of its Christian roots.  There was a sensitivity to the number of, “recovering fundamentalists,” in the Unity movement, those who had been wounded in conservative Christian churches where they experienced condemnation, and who could be offended by the mere mention of Jesus’ name.

I get this–and, there is an expanding awareness that allows us to heal, to hear with the ear of the heart.  My former Unity minister, Rev. Mary Omwake, told me about a conversation she had with Rev. Michael Beckwith, of Apage, in Los Angeles.  He said, “Maybe we are healed enough now to start talking about Jesus again.”  Amen.

So, how do I honor Jesus on the night we celebrate his birthday, on a Unity platform, being available as the evolutionary impulse, without my ego staging the gig?  What would you do?

This post is becoming so very long–I need a little food and a walk along Ma’alaea Bay.  Can I tell you tomorrow what happened?  Thank you, Beloved.

Love and blessings,

Dr. Julianne

 

 

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Ask Dr. Julianne

Posted by admin - December 22nd, 2011

Aloha Dear Ones,

Tonight I’d like to begin sharing with you the essential dynamics of evolutionary relationship, as I have come to understand them.

For the past two years, I have been immersed in the study of evolutionary spirituality with Craig Hamilton, a teacher based in Northern California. Craig’s site is IntegralEnlightenment.com.  He studied for many years with the best-known proponent of evolutionary spirituality, Andrew Cohen. Andrew’s new book, “Evolutionary Enlightenment,” available on Amazon, is a great resource for those seeking to understand the evolutionary perspective.

One of the most fascinating and hopeful discoveries of evolutionary community has been the emergence of a, “We space.”  This, “We,” is an experience of mutual inner knowing between people that seems to be beyond personality conditioning, a visceral awareness of something that was previously a spiritual metaphor of unity, of us being, “all God’s children.”  There are updated metaphors referring to humanity as, “one life, ” or, “one heartbeat.”

Evolutionaries speak of the, “evolutionary impulse,” or the active face of God, the forward-moving divine intention that Mother Teresa called upon us to embody, because, “God has no hands but ours.”   My background is Christian, and my purest experience of what my ministers would call, “The Holy Spirit,” is how I experience the evolutionary impulse. For me, there is no difference in the spiritual power to which these terms seek to give expression. There is the same ever-present mystery, the quality of deep care, a sacred fire urging us to recognize each other as brothers and sisters, holding us responsible for doing the right thing, motivating us to act for the higher good, in the name of love.

Craig Hamilton has written, “Principles of Evolutionary Culture: How you can create a microcosm of Heaven on Earth.”  These 10 principles, written with inspiring clarity, offer practices relating to each other as the We beyond individual egoic conditioning, responsive to the evolutionary impulse’s call to a more passionately conscious, sacred life, to more powerfully creative, loving, mutual relationships.  The principles were intended to facilitate groups–I will paraphrase the principles as a framework for relationship.  Visit IntegralEnlightment.com to view Craig Hamilton’s original, “Principles of Evolutionary Culture.”

The first of the 10 principles is, “A Wholehearted Intention to Transform.”

Bring all of yourselves to this relationship.  Recognize that this is a place where your own deepest longing for a greater life, a holy life, can be engaged and expressed.  Have the love, trust, and courage to give your heart and soul to the way you will be learning to relate with each other, and with all others.  Do this in the knowledge that the single most transformative power in the world is the power of our intention.  If you want your life to change in a profound way, it will.  If you want your relationship to change for the greater good, it will.  With that kind of intention behind you, your relationship  can be a powerful catalyst for waking up together, for experiencing a deeper, higher love that will inspire the world.

Wow.  What a pure, powerful, righteous intention.  I feel my heart bursting open with hope for something better than I’ve ever known before when I read those words.   What would happen if you committed to relating to your partner in this light?  How would your life be different if you related to everyone with such a sacred intention?

Something to think about, to feel into, to let in.  Just receive this as a gift. Consider embarking on an amazing adventure towards the real thing, together.

Love and blessings,

Dr. Julianne

 

 

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Ask Dr. Julianne

Posted by admin - December 21st, 2011

Aloha Everyone,

I want to begin tonight by telling all of you how much I appreciate you.  Each person who opens their mind and heart to creating more happy, loving relationships is an inspiration to me, and a blessing to humanity.

Today I met with a new client.  His courage, and his willingness to embrace change, to explore possibilities for  authentic relationship, just blows me away.  I have a certain expectation of those who have been studying conscious connection, that they will at least try to improve the quality of their friendships and intimate relationships.  But when someone whose life has been focused on business/corporate realms shows up with brilliant openness to interpersonal transformation, I am truly amazed and grateful.

Let’s talk about the question from a local couple asking for suggestions on how to use some of the Christmas spirit to strengthen their marriage.  O.K., the wife asked the question, but she did say that if she’s smart about picking a time (not when the husband is hungry, or watching the big game), her guy is actually interested in doing things that bring them closer emotionally and physically.  It doesn’t hurt to remind the man that one often leads to the other.

I heard a wonderful suggestion for deepening and enlivening the relationship between couples who have been together for awhile from Patricia Albere, who founded EvolutionaryCollective.com.  (Patricia is offering a 5-week on-line course on Evolutionary Relationship the beginning of January, for a very reasonable cost.  She is a pioneer on the cutting edge of evolving mutuality in relationships.  I strongly recommend going to EvolutionaryCollective.com and checking out this opportunity.)

The suggestion for couples seeking more genuine mutuality in their partnership, is to each write down a list of what they are passionate about, and what they would like to have more of in their lives.  Then they both share their lists.  Together, they make a new list, ranking all their passions in order of how important each one is for the happiness of their marriage.

Keep in mind that a healthy marriage has a wide range of needs, from spiritual depth and alignment of life purpose, to emotional connection and sexual satisfaction, to just plain, G-rated fun.  Really, make sure having fun makes it into the top five.

When the couple has their list ranking passions most important to their marriage, they carefully look at each one, exploring it’s role in their relationship.  Where is the passion working to bring them closer?  Where is it creating uncomfortable distance?  Be honest with your mate.  The fastest, most effective way to change is to accept the truth about how things are now.

Explore how each passion might be enjoyed in a way that is most rewarding for both partners.  Just throw out ideas, don’t worry about getting it right.  See yourselves on an adventure of discovery, with the good and noble purpose of more ease, understanding and pleasure between you. Ask who is more able to change/enhance how each passion is enjoyed/experienced.  Agree to be teachers/coaches for each other, “I’ll show you how to have a better time with this, if you’ll help me appreciate that.”

Again, explore with the spirit of adventure.  This isn’t about duty, about obeying external rules and meeting standard expectations.  This is about the two of you, those two people who met and liked each other a whole lot, that couple who had such a good time together, they decided to hook-up every day.

The heart can open at Christmas in a very tender way.  We celebrate the birth of Divine Love in human form.  Surely the new possibility of conscious love that Christ embodied can help couples become more conscious about sharing the passions that bring their love alive.

Love and blessings,

Dr. Julianne

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Ask Dr. Julianne

Posted by admin - December 19th, 2011

Aloha from Maui, Hawaii!

Happy week before Christmas, Dear Ones.
This can be an intense time of year–intensely sweet, intensely meaningful, and, for some of us, intensely challenging. Memories, desires, expectations, those we have lost, those we hope to meet–all mixed up with our deepest religious beliefs, traditions, and spiritual
questions yet unanswered.
I’ve decided to post every day for the rest of 2011, to hold hands and hearts with you through the new year. I’ll try to answer questions on any topic you would like to bring up, or maybe just share my point of view with you–about relationships, or anything impacting how you
show up in the world, or how you would like to show up in the world. I’ll write about my favorite topics, happy relationships and evolutionary spirituality. The intersection of these, evolutionary relationship, has become a great passion of mine over the past two years. Intrigued? Good. It’s such exciting stuff, can’t wait to explore it with you!
Tonight (I usually write at night–my eyes may be open wider in the morning, but my perspective is wider at the close of the day), I’d like to respond to some questions on relationship I’ve gotten from Maui locals. People on Maui are the same as people everywhere, mellower, maybe, on good days, but our issues, our dreams, are the same.
In my last post, I asked singles looking for love to be open to meeting each other in different ways, and encouraged those who have been disdainful and/or fearful of online dating to give it a try.  Once you’ve met someone interesting through a dating site, what comes next?
A lovely woman told me she is involved in an online romance, and seriously wondering if the man with whom she is emailing on a dating site could be, “the one.”  This man lives on the other side of world from her, she has only seen still photos of him, but his written messages, and his voice on the phone, have created a strong feeling of resonance. Her social life is focused around the notes and calls she shares with her online admirer. She asked for my feedback, almost daring me to give a reality check in the face of her exuberance.
I’m a romantic. I believe exotic things do occur and can indeed succeed. Here’s the thing–we don’t know until we know. We can’t, can we? If the guy lived down the block, I might be saying, “open your mind and heart to the qualities that are important to you–if this guy seems to have them, even if he isn’t the type you’re usually attracted to, go ahead and meet him for coffee. Just spend an hour having fun getting to know a new person, without any expectations, and see what happens. You might be surprised.” The only risk would be an hour of the woman’s time.
When your on-line interest lives thousands of miles away, the risks are much greater. If you truly want the real thing, versus an intriguing fantasy, then you need to take steps to make your understanding of who the other person is as real as possible, as soon as possible. Skype, for goodness sakes, get a real look at them.
I had a tender, steamy, writing and phone relationship with a man I met online. He seemed wonderful. He kept putting off getting a Skype account, finding reason after reason (it’s free, after all, how hard could it be?). I got a sinking feeling–and sure enough, when I persisted, he stopped communicating. Two disappointing weeks later, he emailed saying he no longer looked like his photos, and felt too badly about himself to risk letting me see him. This was a man with the seeming confidence of John Wayne in our prior interactions. He said he was going to put online dating on hold and work on himself. I wished him well, and wondered if he really would stop messaging women on the dating site until he felt good about revealing himself, or if he would just find another woman with whom to create an illusion.
Enjoy an online flirtation–but don’t think you know until you know. Do Verify ID, Skype, trust your intuition about any red flags.  But most importantly, keep your dance card open. Keep flirting. Go on dates. Until you are actually in a formally committed relationship, don’t live like you are. There is a spectacularly grand thing about being single–we get to kiss new people.:)
So–we’re back to my respectfully daring & encouraging you to flirt–go get some Christmas mistletoe action. It’s really an O.K. thing for good, spiritual people to do.
My next post will answer a question about couples connecting during the holidays.
Love & blessings,
Dr. Julianne

 

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Ask Dr. Julianne

Posted by admin - November 13th, 2011

Aloha Everyone,

This week has been full of questions about looking for love, keeping love, knowing when love has gone, saying goodbye to a love and preparing to love again.

I’m tempted to write two separate posts, one for women and one for men. There is much advice available that addresses one sex or the other–at some point, I will go there for a couple weeks–but not this time. There are some basic truths I’m learning about intimate relationships that I’d like to share with you all.

For singles looking:

Try to get clear on what kind of relationship you want–for some of us, this is not as easy as it might seem. Write two columns, “Want,” and, “Don’t Want.” Tell the truth. Read them. Notice your visceral response to everything you’re reading. Is it accurate & current, or based on some past experience? You may need to update, or add a “Maybe,” column.

Once you’ve got some clarity, do something about it. Let go of all preconceived ideas about right or wrong ways to meet someone. If you have an issue with online dating, all that means is that you’re probably older than you’d like to admit. Get over it, already–it’s what almost everybody under 40 does, what everybody under 30 does, and a 20 year-old doesn’t even understand the question. However it used to be, where has it gotten you up to now?

Give yourself permission to flirt with everybody. I’m not suggesting you be salacious, or inappropriate in any way, just fully alive and willing to share your enjoyment of life with those around you.

Take this test–the next time you see someone attractive to you, what is your automatic response? Do you make eye contact and smile, or do you look away? If you’re looking away, stop that! Gaze into their eyes & smile–what could it hurt? If the person is psychologically healthy & open to love, they will receive your attention as a compliment.

Practice flirting with anyone in your category of interest. Build your ability to talk about your appreciation of life, and the small things you notice about someone that please you. Communicate this way when you’re out in the world. When you meet a potential lover whose charms stun you, you’ll be much less likely to run. You’ll be more likely to do what you do everyday.

For women (O.K., I can’t help it), this initially needs to lean towards sustained eye contact (five whole seconds, I mean it) and smiling. If the man appears terrified, thank God you’re getting the scoop up front. More likely, he’ll be intrigued and approach you.

For men, you need to gaze into a woman’s eyes, smile and speak. Yes, for our sake, for your sake, say something. A simple, “You look good today,” is a gift to any sane female (I know there are women with issues–just duck & move on).

Let yourself explore these ways of connecting. Regard it as a fun experiment, no pressure, just a juicy adventure. When we allow ourselves to be playful with each other, much anxiety falls away. Our willingness to enjoy life can be our most compelling quality.

I’ll stop here for now. Go out and flirt. I respectfully dare and encourage you.

Love and blessings,

Dr. Julianne

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Happy to be Writing Again

Posted by admin - November 1st, 2011

Aloha Dear Ones,

This has been a fascinating, challenging, deeply & unexpectedly transformative year. I’m very happy to let my friends know that I have begun writing again.

My plan is to post at least weekly. So much evolutionary love is coming forward, posts may need to be more frequent. We will see what Spirit wants.

I’m also available to new clients now, either in person (house/hotel calls) on Maui, or by phone/Skype globally.

I would love to hear from you. If you have a question you would like a spiritual shrink to answer, consider the column I proposed last year,    “Ask Dr. Julianne,” open for business. Please write your question in the comment section & I’ll answer as soon as I can.

If you would like to talk with me in a counseling session, please leave me a voicemail at 1-808-283-8431 and we can schedule a time. You might visit the, “Session Request,” page on my site and complete the questionnaire to get us started.

I’m so happy and grateful to be connecting with you all again–I look eagerly forward to many high & deep insights and inspirations in the sacred space between us.

Love and blessings, Julianne

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Spiritual Psychologist from Maui Offers Advice for Happy Relationships

Posted by admin - November 30th, 2009

Ask Dr. Julianne

Aloha from Maui, Hawaii! Welcome to my blog.  I am happy and grateful to be sharing my heart with you.

The years I have lived on the beautiful island of Maui have been a kind of retreat.  I have had the gift of time–to go within, to explore my consciousness, challenge my beliefs, experiment with different points of view.  Most importantly, my years in the Land of Aloha have inspired a deeper relationship with my dearest friend, the Holy Spirit.  Whatever name we give to the Divine Presence, I believe the sweet experience of sacred love is shared by us all.
It is easy to feel a loving connection to life in Hawaii–trade winds carry a soft scent of flowers that caresses each breath.  Days on end of blue skies and even bluer ocean waves can comfortingly mesmerize.
And yet, for those of us who live here, life as a spiritual being having a human experience has the requirements of life everywhere.
We must find ourselves, find our friends, find our faith and our purpose.  When we look for satisfying results of our searching, the best evidence we have of life well lived are happy relationships–whether the relationship is with ourselves, our family, friends, colleagues, our lover or mate, or with our God.
I am both humbled and excited about inviting you along on my own adventure in creating happy relationships.  Perhaps my lessons will spare you some heartbreak, comfort or encourage you, even bring you laughter or inspiration.
There are many questions I am asked in my roles of psychologist, chaplain and intuitive.  I will do my best to answer some of these as the Spirit guides me.   This blog may evolve into, “Ask Dr. Julianne,” or such a column might be added to the website–we will see what the future holds.
Thank you for visiting me.  God bless you in creating the happy relationships of your dreams.  I so look forward to knowing you better.
Love and blessings,

Dr. Julianne

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