Ask Dr. Julianne
Aloha Dear Ones,
Found myself wondering–did the last post seem a little harsh? Â In asking us all to become more awake in our relationships, am I asking too much?
So many of us have gone through long periods of feeling defeated by relationship–by a relationship within which we feel emotional pain, by a relationship left by our partner, by our longing for relationship. Â Many of us are in that place of experiencing some kind of despair around relationship, right now.
What more understandable source of despair could there be than our knowing something is missing from the way our heart connects with another’s? Â Whatever our theology might be about our origins, whether we believe we are individual expressions of a single divine mystery, inexorably linked, or not–it’s clear we need each other. Â Whatever the cosmic truth may be, on this earth, we need each other deeply.
We long for the real thing–for relationships wherein we are seen and accepted and appreciated for our true selves. We want to be known, to be valued for our gifts, to share our dreams and have them encouraged. Most of us want to experience this profound connection with a mate, to have a special bond with a life partner. Â This desire is so deep, so natural, we think we know what the real thing, true love, must be like, look like, feel like. We have millennia of expectations built up about our relationships, and are programmed with ample fantasies to keep us on automatic pilot.
When our expectations are not met, what are we supposed to think? So many past associations pop up to fill our heads, it’s hard for us to know what we actually think, or feel. Our defenses quickly blame the other, blame circumstances, blame some story about our own limitations. There may be some truth in any or all of these–but there is a bigger truth.
The bigger truth, the saving grace, is about who we are, really. Â If we are steeped in a cultural identity of a separate self, at the mercy of past conditioning (not only ours and our family’s, but of all our ancestors), how can we be free to even know our true selves, much less another? The path to personal freedom, and the path to true love, are the same. Begin to consider an identity, a self, that is not now, and has never been, separate from its source. Allow yourself to imagine being an essential part of a divine blueprint, becoming more awake to its true nature with each moment, a nature that is inter-related to all others, to its creator, to the sacred mystery, to God.
If we can begin to wake up to this larger identity, limitations of the past begin to drop away. We begin to see with fresh eyes, to hear with the ear of a grander heart. We listen, and hear a call to serve a higher, deeper power, a sacred evolutionary impulse, that animates all that exists. Hearing that call is the beginning of our journey on the path of true love, a love that is ever unfolding, a love that needs us to help it evolve to a vibrantly awake, holy consciousness shared by all humanity.
Our freedom to experience that greater love begins with a new awareness of our ability to choose. We can only be more responsible, to ourselves, in our relationships, if we believe that we are able to choose, to make different choices than the ones that have led to heartbreak and isolation. We can choose to begin walking this path of evolving love now, together.
I’ll continue to give you the resources that are the most powerfully revelatory and inspiring for me. Â I’ve been blessed to study evolutionary spirituality with Craig Hamilton for the last two years. Â Craig’s site, IntegralEnlightenment.com, gives many resources for beginning on the evolutionary path, along with opportunities for deeper study and ongoing practice with an online community. Â Craig Hamilton was the Senior Editor of, “What Is Enlightenment? (WIE),” magazine, founded by Andrew Cohen. Â WIE is now, EnlightenNext.org, an online magazine and evolutionary network. Â In addition to publishing, “EnlightenNext,” Andrew Cohen has just written, “Evolutionary Enlightenment,” (available on Amazon), an essential primer on evolutionary spirituality.
An integral perspective on life, meaning, relationship, culture, spirituality, can be widely explored on IntegralLife.com, Ken Wilber’s, “online town square,” for integral/evolutionary thought and practice. Â Ken Wilber’s book, “Integral Spirituality,” addresses the deep queries of seekers and intellectuals, alike.
I’m becoming acquainted with a new site, evolutionarycollective.com, with Patricia Albere, who hosts interviews with leaders in evolutionary thought. I’m studying a course on evolutionary relationship that Patricia has begun offering, and will happily share some of the insights with you.
If you feel drawn towards any of these resources, please do take the time to check them out. It’s almost impossible for us to get underneath our conditioning on our own–we need interaction with and feedback from others on the path of true love, the path of evolving relationship. Together, we can move forward from, “me,” to the possibility of, “We.”
Love and blessings,
Dr. Julianne
Tags: Andrew Cohen, chaplain, consciousness, counseling, Craig Hamilton, enlightenment, EnlightenNext, evolutionary community, evolutionary enlightenment, evolutionary impulse, evolutionary relationship, evolutionary spirituality, evolutionarycollective, God, Hawaii, integral, integral spirituality, IntegralEnlightenment, IntegralLife, intuitive, Julianne Hanson, Ken Wilber, love, Maui, Patricia Albere, phone counseling, Prayer, Psychology, psychotherapy, Relationship Advice, relationship counseling, Skype counseling, Spiritual Counseling, spiritual psychologist, spiritual psychotherapy, spirituality, transpersonal psychologist, Unity, We space
January 14th, 2012 at 10:36 am
It’s a shame you don’t have a donate button! I’d without a doubt donate to this outstanding blog! I suppose for now i’ll settle for bookmarking and adding your RSS feed to my Google account. I look forward to fresh updates and will talk about this site with my Facebook group. Chat soon!
January 15th, 2012 at 1:23 am
Aloha Weathervane, never even thought of it–thank you for finding my posts valuable in a way that motivates you to contribute actual $$:)–that probably means you are reading carefully and considering deeply. I’m so happy to know you are taking the next step, sharing your inspiration with your circle of friends. Bless you for continuing the conversation.
January 17th, 2012 at 2:53 am
Wow that was odd. I just wrote an very long comment but after I clicked submit my comment didn’t show up. Grrrr… well I’m not writing all that over again. Anyways, just wanted to say superb blog!
January 17th, 2012 at 12:09 pm
Aloha Veilleux, this has happened to us all, yes? Thank you very much for taking the time to write, and for your generous support.
January 17th, 2012 at 6:43 pm
Thanks a lot for making the effort to describe the terminlogy towards the novices!
January 18th, 2012 at 11:23 am
Aloha Talhelm, thank you, I try my best to make ideas that can seem esoteric be as real as feeling sunlight warm your face.
January 28th, 2012 at 5:33 am
You have a great blog! I shall bookmark it!!!
January 30th, 2012 at 1:14 am
Aloha Olivid, thanks a lot, I so appreciate your enthusiam! Hope you look up to bookmark bar often.
January 29th, 2012 at 10:15 am
Thanks a lot for this article.
January 30th, 2012 at 1:36 am
Aloha Max, so glad you found value in this post. I’m committed to sharing the best resources with you, the teachers and classes that most inspire me.
February 1st, 2012 at 6:01 am
Thanks!…
Thanks for all your insight. This site has been really helpful to me….
February 1st, 2012 at 10:06 am
Aloha Washington, thanks for your support. I’m so glad you have found my site and blog helpful. Please come back.
February 1st, 2012 at 9:10 am
Heya i am for the first time here. I found this board and I find It really helpful & it helped me out much. I’m hoping to offer one thing again and aid others like you aided me.
February 1st, 2012 at 10:09 am
Aloha Fitzherbert, thank you for your kind words. I’m happy to hear my info has helped you. Blessings on your work and your great intention to be of service.
February 3rd, 2012 at 6:12 pm
Thanks a lot for this article.
February 7th, 2012 at 6:32 am
Aloha Ludgate, you are very welcome, hope you will keep reading.
February 4th, 2012 at 4:07 am
I entirely like this article… If it’s not trouble write more.
February 7th, 2012 at 6:34 am
Aloha Saski, so glad you like my post, thanks. Hope you continue reading.
February 5th, 2012 at 1:25 am
I always was interested in this subject and stock still am, appreciate it for putting up.
February 7th, 2012 at 6:54 am
Aloha Daisey, thank you for writing, hope you will keep reading.
February 5th, 2012 at 5:03 am
“magnificent issues altogether, you just gained a new reader. What could you suggest in regards to your publish that you simply made some days ago? Any sure?”
February 7th, 2012 at 7:00 am
Aloha Galvin, thank you very much for reading. Not sure to which post you are referring, if you let me know, I’ll try to help.
February 5th, 2012 at 8:14 am
“This is very interesting, You’re a very skilled blogger. I have joined your rss feed and look forward to seeking more of your fantastic post. Also, I’ve shared your web site in my social networks!”
February 7th, 2012 at 7:03 am
Aloha Petrucco, thank you for your generous support, and for sharing my site in your social networks. I really appreciate you.
February 6th, 2012 at 7:02 am
I discovered your blog site on google and check a few of your early posts. Continue to keep up the very good operate. I just additional up your RSS feed to my MSN News Reader. Seeking forward to reading more from you later on!…
February 7th, 2012 at 7:11 am
Aloha Guelpa, thanks a lot for reading, hope you will continue with us.